Christmas Letter For My Babylove

Dear Addy,


When the time comes that you can read this I want you to know that at the moment I am telling that the true spirit of Christmas is about sharing, giving and forgiving. It is the time for the family to be complete. For  me being a family  depends on how deep the relationship is, how much you sincerely care about each other. It is not just family by blood but a family by heart. I want you to keep this in mind for a special reason. I know in time, you will understand what mommy means.


Today is our 3rd Christmas already. Whew! Time flies so fast. I can still remember our first Christmas and second Christmas. Addy, our Christmas may not be perfect, but I want you to know that it is full of love happiness and peace. Despite all of mommy's worries and fears, I am confident that you feel all the love that you need. I know you feel complete because never a day passed by that you have felt the love of everyone. You are surrounded with beautiful souls who love you the most. You are blessed with so many family and friends who cares for you, who loves you.


I know that I still need to learn a lot from this lifetime career of motherhood but somehow I feel that I have done some justice to the role. I always think of the man I hope you’ll become and I will continue to do the best that I can. I will guide you in your journey through childhood and into adulthood. I know you will be an honorable man someday. Someone who has the integrity and spirit of a true warrior. Someone who stands up and fights for what he believes in. Someone who has a deep faith and expresses his faith. Someone who will love mommy until the end of time.




You are my life Addy, without you, my life has no purpose nor meaning.  I can't tell you what it felt like when everything was happening because I can't think of words to describe it. For me, there's no words to describe it. Even with our current disposition, anak, I never regretted anything. I never regretted having you. I want you to know that I never thought of you as an accident nor a mistake, for me you will always be a blessing, a gift from God, an angel to guide and love me, an answered prayer, a miracle, yes I consider you a miracle. 
If there was one thing that I could do in life to shield you from one day's harm,I would do it without hesitation.
One day when you will have your own children, When you do have children, love them the way I love you. 


I am very proud of you Addy. Every milestone of yours was a personal victory for me. It feels like I won an award. This year you had so much achievements that made me proud. From setting the dining table, eating by yourself using the proper utensils, dressing up by yourself, washing the dishes, (yes, you are domesticated anak) being talkative like mommy (anak sometimes, you're like a parrot), being completely potty trained and most of all, being courteous; how you answer "opo", please, thank you, sorry, I love you and good night. I was just amazed and once again overwhelmed at what a little miracle you are. I am still your biggest fan Addy and forever I will be. I am still amazed how big you are now. How cute you are, how smart you are. At times, I even sounds like a third person admiring your good looks, captivating smile and smart personality. I am so in love with you little boy. I can't get enough of you.


Although things are more challenging for us this year. Sometimes I found myself in very difficult situations; the mess you made, the conflict of schedules of who will take care of you for the day, the tantrums you threw, and the other millions of naughty things that caused you to be on time out. We may had a few struggles this year But what I know is this: by having you, loving you, and being your mother, I am a better person and will be a better mother to you. You changed me and for that, I am grateful. The love you filled my heart each day is something that has no expiration and cannot compare to any other love on this earth.


I hope that the joys that you have given my life, will come back to you ten fold, and that the sorrows that I have faced, never come to you. These are words from my heart to yours. Never follow blindly. Be yourself, the way that you truly are. I wish you lived with inner peace in this world of turmoil and events. Remember that in every problem there is a blessing. I wish you continuous good health.  My little dearest angel, be the way that you want to be. Be yourself. You will always have my eternal love because you are mommy's world. I love you no matter what you do or where you may end up going in life. I am proud to have you because for me you are my greatest blessing.

This last year had filled with priceless memories and I look forward to so many more to come.


Thank you for coming into my life.
Thank you for being such a good boy
Thank you for being sweet to mommy
Thank you for giving me strength in every trial that we encounter
Thank you for giving me strength
Thank you for being my sanity, my source of happiness
Thank you for loving me the way you know how to.
Thank you for being my son.
Thank you for saving m, for giving me hope in a hopeless world
Thank you for inspiring mommy to do better everyday
Thank you for being your beautiful you. I love you.
Thank you for You saved me Addy. You gave me hope in a hopeless world.

You are still, and will always be, the light of my life.  You are still mommy’s little babylove! You are still by far my biggest source of joy and my biggest energy drain. you keep me going, you keep me laughing, you keep me wanting to live each and everyday. You are my strength Addy, you are my happiness, you are my sanity.


I look forward to learning life's lessons with you hand-in-hand. Thank you Addy! For making our 2011 the best! You continue to make mommy life worthwhile!




I love you Anak! 


Love your number 1 fan,


Mommy Ley

Day 3: A Photo Taken Over 10 Years Ago

It is part of our Filipino Tradition to celebrate Santacruzan. A Santacruzan is a religious-historical beauty pagent held in many cities, towns and even small villages throughout the Philippines during the month of May. One of the most colorful May-time festivals in the Philippines which depicts the finding of the Holy Cross by Queen Helena, mother of Constantine the Great. Many movie and television personalities participate in the events and are featured as major sagalas and escorts.

I've been a participant  so many times, but 10 years ago was my last Santacruzan. In this photo is my Cousin Anjel, Marvin (Anjel's cousin) Me, and Clay (my ex boyfriend who died of Brain tumor)

yes, this was our last picture together. He died after 7 months to be exact.

So this picture is very special to me :)

Day 2: 20 Of My Favorite Things

Sweet tooth

I rather receive chocolates than flowers. I love cakes and ice creams, these are my so called "happy food"

Passport

I grew up in a family who loves to travel. I remember how we went to Pagudpud with no plans at all. I love to travel within and outside the Philippines and explore the beauty of the world and experience different environment, cultures and nature.

Book

I love to read novels from different genre and era. Minus the tagalog ones

Journal

I love to write, from poems, songs to my everyday experiences and reflections that why I keep a journal with me. I also write my everyday TO DO's in my journal. Yes, I am an OC.

Music

Music also keeps me sane (besides Addy and chocolates) I listen to different genre depending on my current mood.

Pictures/camera

I want to keep every bit of my experiences :)

Portable dvd for addy

Being a solo mom of a toddler is tough, I have to bring his magic portable dvd to keep him sane.

Carseat for addy

Since most of the time I drive alone with addy. Its our bff! Of course, addy's safety is always first

Food

Who doesn'tt like food? I love to explor new and different restaurants.

Blackberry

My handy dandy all around phone, recorder, planner, memo pad, email sender. Do I need to explain further?

Perfumes/colognes

I love baby scent colognes and perfumes. 

Magnets 

Since I love to travel, I also love to collect magnets from the places thay I visited both local and international.

Letters/cards

Since I love to write and I am very sentimental, I keep notes, cards and letters. I also love to give random notes to my loved ones it may be through email, text message or old style "paper/post it' notes/letters.

Beach

I am a beach bum. I love to explore the wonders of different beaches in and out of the country. 

Camping

We don't do this in the Philippines, we do this in Canada since there is no beach ala boracay in Canada, this is our family bonding time.

Musical/play

I was in choir since elementary days. I just love to perform onstage. I love to watch musicals, ballet recitals and broadways as well. I must admit, I am an old soul. I saw a few ballet recitals of Ballet Philippines. I also watched Miss Saigon and The Sound Of Music. Next...Mama Mia :)

Ariel of little mermaid

She's my favorite princess! Ijust love Ariel :) She brings out the child in me.

Santa Claus

When I was a kidm I used to believe that Santa Claus existed. I am very excited evry Christmas. Now, as a mom, I still do believe that Santa Claus exists. It is our "santa in us". Us, being the Santa Jesus to other people. For me, the true meaning of Christmas is being a Santa to someone

Basketball 

Yes, I watched PBA since I was in first grad. From Toyota to Ginnebra days, to Ginebra- San Miguel days. My fave? Vince Hizon, Seigle and Abarientos. In NBA, MIAMI HEAT! wooohooo!

UFC

BJ Penn makes me oohh gaga. :) Especially when I was in Canada, my cousins will watch UFC every night.

Day 1: A Photo That Makes Me Happy

If there's a counterpart for liposuction just for me to gain weight easily, I will really save up for it. This is my usual dialogue. Growing up as a skinny kid, I am very desperate at least being on my average weight based on my age and height. Don't get me wrong, I do not have any eating disorder and my friends will totally agree with me on how I can eat two cups of rice in one meal *yes, I am proud*

So when I was pregant, I am very ecstatic with every pound that I gained. My Obgyne will always have this curious look on me as she says, "you know what? you're the first prego mom that looks so happy and all excited to know how much you gained for the week". I would simply smile back at her. Looking at my pregnant pictures makes me happy because I know I was able to achieved my average weight according to my age and height. Of course, there are so many other things to be happy about while I was pregnant, despite of being a solo parent, I am very excited to see my little blessing *but that will be covered in the coming days*

I weight 138lbs when I gave birth to Addy *yes, I gained a lot of it, 45lbs to be exact* and I prayed each day and night to keep it, however, I shred off the weight effortless since I was breastfeeding at that time. So now, these pictures are my "inspiration". I look at them most of the time. Yes, I miss my prego body. I miss every inch of fats in my body. I hope, one day, I will be as healthy as I was. Yes, If there's a counterpart for liposuction, let me know, so I can start saving up.