charmed life

I received a disturbing message from someone whom I'd met at a writer's workshop about two years ago.  She mentioned that she was living a 'pathetic cruel life' and went on to profess her continued love for an old colleague of mine. she ended her message with what to me sounded like a bitter note.   "Anyway, you're lucky. You seem to be leading a charmed life. Take care."  Honestly, I found this to be quite disturbing.  I mean, what does she know about my life?  What does anyone know about other people's lives?  The fact that I'm always smiling in my pictures isn't any evidence that I'm living a 'charmed life'.  I wish I did though, but very few people in this world can only be so fortunate.  I wouldn't want to encourage anyone to think of me that way either. However, I do confess that right now I am happy and contented with my life because I made a choice to be happy despite my own cobweb of personal dilemmas. I lived a very complicated life. No one's life is ever perfect.  Even Jesus' life wasn't perfect.  Only HE was perfect.  I like smiling for pictures.  I like dressing up.  I like new experiences.  I like discovering myself.  I like meeting people.  I like enjoying every happy moment in my life because maybe later on I might be less happy.  The point is, everyone's lives are different.  We all come from varied backgrounds and circumstances.  I have made it a practice not to be bitter, jealous, or remorseful of other people's lives because it won't make my life any better.  Once you start monitoring other people's steps you stumble on your own and end up wasting time.  Instead, we should just be contented with whatever is handed over to us and deal with every situation the best way possible without making silly excuses for every burden we encounter. God has a plan for all of us. We just need to be patient until we know what he in stored for us. For me, it was a tortuous path. My Cross then is one difficult I had to endure as a sign of my faithfulness and commitment to Jesus. These trials are given to use for us to realized something. It happened to me, I realized a lot of things not only with myself but as well as in life.

As my College prof said: "Your past does not determine your future".

Nothing is ever what it seems to be. NEVER ASSUME ANYTHING.  After all, don't we each have our own little stories to tell? 

God will be always there for us no matter how many times we fall or even how often we fall as long as we know how to stand up, God will always give us a second chance. We all commit mistakes. No one is perfect. It's a matter of accepting our faults and learning from it. God will always  give us opportunity to straighten out the bad choices we made.

My Big Guy

I can’t help but feel sad.  In a few days you will go and move into another land.  I know you will meet new friends, and maybe forgot about me.  I know, I can imagine you saying, “Never” then probably hug me to give me more assurance.  I must learn to face life without seeing you at the feast, a day without a text nor a bbm message from you, or even your silly strategy to prove to me that I am still gullible..  I know that I am going to miss you so much.

My dear good friend, don’t mind me.  Even if it hurts me so much to see you go, I want you to know that I wish you well.  I hope you will be happy and settle there comfortably. I hope that you will build good relationships there.  I know you will not have a problem in building a social circle because you have such a winning personality.  My only wish is that you will remember to send me an email or find time to chat with me online whenever.  No, don’t find the time, you may not find it. Just make the time, okay.  Oh, forgive me for being such a demanding friend. (big smile :D )

Thank you for being such a good friend of mine, more than that, thank you for being one of my circle of trust. Thank you for being there to listen, to give me a hug or a pat on my back, to make me smile when all I want to do is cry. Thank you for always driving for me whenever I feel lazy to do so. Thank you for accepting me. I will forever cherish the memories that we made. You still owe me a few things, Gubat sa siyudad, isaw and trinoma date, but it's good that you still owe me those things. This will give you a reason to come back (conceited mode hahahah) Thank you for being you. Thank you for the constant reminders to bring an umbrella, yet I still don't bring one and when it rain, I will call you. As I said last night, "Paano na ako pag wala ka na? Sino na magsasaway sa akin? Who will make me laugh or smile if I'm sad?" I will always remember the days we shared.

Of all the many people that surround us, I wonder how one person can affect the life of another.  I pray that you will stay and not leave us, but we also don't want to stop you in pursuing your dreams.  I can’t be selfish.  My priority is your happiness. I will continue to pray for you and wish you luck as you face this new phase of your life.

And so I bid you “Bon Voyage, My Friend.”  Please don’t look back as you go, Bon voyage.  Be happy.  God bless you. Until we meet again.

For Rent

 I woke up one morning feeling less than ecstatic.  Like a bolt of lightning, it came to me how everything is changing so fast in my life.  Like in a brief period of time, things change, people come and go. And I can’t help it. I was prepared to sulk for the day if not for two words– Let Go.                                                                                                                          
 

The adage "Let live and Let Go" holds its meaning for ages. It is specifically meaningful for those who like me, find themselves caught in recent successions of raging drama (like on TV). Well, guess this is how it goes. Most of those we get in touch with in our lives, the job, the people we love/d, we are just lucky and blessed to let God rent them to us. Some are allowed to stay longer than expected while others just dissipate with no warning. 

I told myself, everything is rent.  You can’t hold people down, stay where you are not welcome, or keep beating yourself up for that lost love/job/ or poor decision. Moving forward starts with letting go.
Sometimes,you Have to fall from the mountain to realize what you are climbing for obstacles were Putting our way to see If what we want is really worth fighting for. "from every wound there is a scar and  every scar tells a story, a story that says I "survived!"

And so my morning went less brighter than what I hoped it can be. But I think I am enlightened. To those who have been a part of my life, thank you. I hope the rent, though it cannot last, was worth it.

Someday: A Song From The Past

I heard a familiar song last night. This song was my "National Anthem of Healing" or should I say "My moving on song" 4 years ago. Here it goes:

Someday, you'll gonna realize

One day, you'll see this through my eyes

But then I won't even be there

I'll be happy somewhere

Even if I can't

I know you don't really see my worth

You think you're the last guy on earth

Well, I've got news for you

I know I'm not that strong

But it won't take long, won't take long

CHORUS

'Cause someday, someone's gonna love me

The way I wanted you to need me

Someday, someone's gonna take your place

One day, I'll forget about you

You'll see, I won't even miss you

Someday, someday

But now, I know you can tell

I'm down and I'm not doin' well

But one day, these tears

They will all run dry

I won't have to cry sweet goodbye

Sometime in our lives we all meet a person, or read a book, see a movie or listen to a song that make deep impressions in our hearts and change our lives. Sometimes, we meet someone that we thought will stay but one day we will wake up, that person is gone. When I started listening to "Someday"  four years ago, I've noticed that my healing accelerated, my intuition deepened. I gained more clarity and peace in my life, and also the emotional release had occurred that helped me to break through some of the barriers in my life. It helps me releases the obstacles, beliefs and troubles that are preventing me to achieve success, happiness and optimal health in life.  It helps me realize that life must go on. One day that person will realized what he has done. Everything takes time; we should not force ourselves to wake up the next day to be fully recovered. Everything is a step-by-step process. This song also helps me realize that it's not the end because one way or another, someone will love me and be there for me. Every end comes a new beginning