Yes, I was a stressed single mom before. Who wouldn't be? I was working in a travel agency supervising a 24/7 department who deals with distressed passenger. I was also a full time mom and dad. I am coping up with my self battles. I am just everywhere. I know that all moms share similar highs and lows but I can’t help but wonder if single parents share a different level of stress just due to the added pressure of doing it solo daily. Perhaps single moms suffer from our own sometimes humorous, sometimes not, Single Mom Stress Syndrome.
BRIEF HISTORY
Raised in a conservative family, I was scared when I found out that I am pregnant and worst I have to face it alone. I have to stand by my principles and beliefs and do what for me is right. It took a lot of practicing on how I will tell my parents that they will be grandparents and I will be a single mom. At that time, I know that I will be under the microscope again. It’s also called the sad reality of life but that’s how it is. That’s life, sometimes trials happen. In time, God will let me know the reason why.
OVERCOMING YOUR FEAR AND DOING IT THE RIGHT WAY, I CHOOSE TO BE BRAVE
All problems have solution but the question is: Are we making the right choice? Are we solving our problem the right way?
I never had to think twice. I know from the start that I want this child. No matter what people around me will say. A friend once said, “it's not about what they will say, it's about what you feel, what you want, what will make you happy and what you think is right." I can say that I made the right decision. I solved my problem the right way. I realized that There are many couples in our society who’s having a hard time having a baby; spending all their money just to have one and here I am given this blessing and won’t accept it?
I knew then that I will be scrutinized, judged and ridiculed. Its part of this world we live in, the society surrounding us. I can take all that because that does not compare to the joy this little blessing will give me
Our fear is like a door and when you have the courage to open the door it will show you the answer. Agree, I had to face the sturdiest door, and when I had the courage to open the door. It feels like I saw the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow: My son.
After I gave birth, I embraced the joy of Motherhood. I was given the gift of life and there is no one else who is responsible of this innocent and defenseless life but me. I am the only one who can fight for the life of my child. I will do it no matter what the world throws at me because I know it’s all worth it.
Just to make things clear. I am not encouraging other young women to get pregnant unmarried. No. In the eyes of God I have committed a sin. But I am not covering it up by committing another. I am here standing up for what I did. Because when this happened to me, reality kicked in. It’s happening to young women around me. I am not alone; I am not the first single mom in this cruel world. There are many women who are scared and never knew what to do. Women who are left by their coward, immature partners to face this battle alone. This is how life can be. We always have the power and right to choose the way we want to live it.
Whether or not you are a new single mom or riding the train for while, always remember the following.
Take a Moment to Acknowledge Yourself
You are to be commended for your courage! Whether you chose to be a single mom or being a single mom was chosen for you, it takes a tremendous amount of guts to put one foot in front of the other, all on your own. Be sure to acknowledge yourself for using these circumstances as an opportunity to choose you, your future and the future of your children. Congratulations on reaching this new phase of your life - the best is yet to come.
Something Better is Coming
In the last five years, I’ve spoken to countless single moms. When asked the question: “What would you say to a new single mom?” the answer time and time again was a resounding, “There’s a light at the end of the tunnel. Hang in there! It will get better. Someday you’ll look back and realize every challenge has resulted in a blessing.”
Sadly, no-one said that to me until I was already feeling better. I needed to hear it before that moment, and I hope you’re hearing it just when you need it the most.
Surround yourself with positive people
Who needs negatron in our life? I surround my Addy with beautiful souls, I expose him to loving people. Let go of those people who puts you down. I ensure that Addy's school has the same vision as mine. From time to time, I bring him to The Feast to worship and attend the service with me.
Circle of trust
Build your circle of trust. These people who can listen to you, who can tell you if it is right or wrong. People who won't tolerate you and let you do crazy stuff. At the same time, people who knows how to respect your decision and privacy. They don't have to know each other. Believe me, I have 5 wonderful souls inside my circle of trust and it helps a lot. They can also be your prayer partner.
Maintain a relationship with God
This last, but most important, is the primary key to a happy family life. Together, we pray, talking to God through prayer is one way to build a relationship with God. Reading the bible is another way to build your relationship with God. I changed our bedtime stories to bible bedtime stories. In this way, I am also instilling not just good values but God's words to Addy. At this early time, He will be connected to God, my ultimate friend, lifetime partner and provider.
Life is about second chances. May it be in life in general, friends, love or career.
I've learned that making a living is different from making a life.
I've learned that even when I have pains, I don't have to be the one.
I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, people will forget what material things you gave, but people will never forget how you made them feel.
P.S Don't be too hard on yourself. You are doing a great job!
JIMLY (Jesus In Me Loves You)
Ley
