Day 6: Songs That Makes You Cry

Samson by Regina Spektor


The whole song is a Biblical allusion to Samson and Delilah. I don't really want to explain it right now, but by"sweetest downfall" it kind of means that it was better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all, that kind of thing. 


Because Samson's hair is cut by her, he is vulnerable and led to his death (his hair was the source of his power) but he knew this, almost as if he asked her to cut it, because he loved her and she loved him.


I considered Addy as my sweetest downfall. For me, I'd rather have him alone than not having him at all. Now, I can't imagine how my life would be without Addy. He is my purpose in life 




She Reminds Us By Mike Greca
A touching song how a single mom wants to raise her kid well.


here is the video link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=Uy1qtdmndUI






Miracle by Celine Dion
This song reminds me that miracles do happen. Yes, it happens. In God's own time, It will happen






....to be continued.....

Prince Turned Into A Frog

Fairy tales usually starts with, once upon a time and ends with, and they lived happily ever after. My fairytale was extraordinary. It started with, "once upon a time" and ended with, "they lived happily ever after" yes, the man I thought my prince turned into a frog. He is not the one whom I dreamed of since I was three.

After my happily ever after, In a far away land of Canada, I gave birth to a handsome little boy named Addy. After almost 4 years, here I am, still waiting for my prince.

The thing is, for almost four years, I haven't dated anyone since the last frog. Don't get me wrong, I do have the happily ever after with my Addy. But I also want to be honest about myself. Sometimes, I thought of having a family of three. To have someone to talk with late at night, someone to laugh with, to cry with. To have someone that cared for me and Addy. Every time I will try to go on a date, I will always ask myself, " Was that type of companionship worth taking the chance? am I ready now? Am I  ready to take that chance again?"

I considered priorities in life, current disposition and of course, personal issues. Most of the time, my answer is NO. So funny how I was waiting but I actually don't do anything about it as well. As they say, action speaks louder than words. 

Last quarter of last year, I was already preparing myself for a new journey. Carefully putting myself back together like a puzzle. Reviewing the experiences that I gained from JE,Love life, KCON, Thursdates, Sundates and of course my CG's. I know that no matter how many self help books I read, No matter how many talks I listened to, problems will come my way. No life is perfect. But what's good about it is, how do I deal with the problems that will come? How do I apply all the experiences and learning that I gained. Most of all, How do I prevent myself from getting lost and blind again.

And yes, we do live in a cruel world but I see cruelty as something positive because with all those setbacks, I am reminded to be humble. I always find enough reason to be thankful for despite the setbacks, trials and ordeals that happened to me. I know that to have a positive outlook is very difficulty especially when reality hit you hard but I always remind myself that being positive is borne out of strong faith that God will do good works for those who love him. As I always say, God allowed those hardships to come our way because he knows that we can draw out the good in every hardship and pain that comes in our life.

Finally, I found myself again. I regained my self worth and self respect. So here I am, doing my best to find my prince. I know, to find my prince I might have to kiss a lot of frogs. 

( Although, I hope not super many hahaha) 

Join me in this journey :)

I Love The Feast: A Pure Heart

I Love The Feast: A Pure Heart: “Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God,” is without a doubt the most comprehensive of all theblessings, just as being pure in heart is the mostcomprehensive requirement of a believer’s life. Nothing but the sight of God will satisfy the longings of the disciple’s heart.

So how do we know if we have a pure heart? It is by doing of God's will wholly, completely, and without reserve. To have a pure heart is to see God.

Sis. Mara shared this is done when we:

• Pray every moment

• Submit in every area

• Love in every act

Praying without ceasing means that we are aware of God’s presence wherever we are. The pure of heart are those that, instead of trying to be noticed, go into their room or a quiet, private place and pour out their hearts to God. Even if we don’t know how to pray or how to put our hearts fears and desires into words, God meets us in our most honest moments.

Submit in every area. Like Zacchaeus, the tax collector, who submitted his 100% to God. He gave everything because he acknowledged that God knows what is best for him. In our life, there might be some areas that we need to submit and lift up to him. Remember, God knows what is best for us.

Love in every act. Let all that you do be done with love. It may come as a surprise, but God is more concerned with what’s inside rather than what’s outside. God does not look at the external packaging, but the internal workings and judges by the heart.

The “Pure in heart” are the ones who see God in other people, in places – in everything. They live on the positive side of life and choose to see the best in everyone and everything they see.

written by Ley Reinares
source Makati Feast bulletin

Gift Of Eyesight

I started wearing eye glasses when I was on 4th grade. Well, I'm not a geeky student but I admit, I am a bookworm. My grandfather has a "mini library" full of wonderful books from novels to fiction, from history to geography, name it, he got it. I always hide from everyone just to read my precious novels. I hide under the table or even under the blanket, holding my book and a pen light. To give you a little background, I experienced the 24/7 brownout during the time of Pres. Cory Aquino. Brownout all day/everyday (can you just imagine?) Don't get me wrong, I don't blame her, but as others will tell me, reading in the dark causes poor eyesight. (Thanks Auntie Pet)


Since then, I have my best friend. My eye glasses. I only remove them whenever children's choir will perform. I had a lot of eye glasses from all shapes and sizes since I will always break them, lose them, or my prescription needs to be changed. I hate going to the ophthalmologist to have my eyes checked for a few reasons. First, Long line. Second, doctor is always late that makes the waiting time longer. Third, It is very overwhelming to choose what frame I like. Fourth, Most of all, I already memorized the snellen chart. Imagine, I had to read them every other 3 or 6months. So what I do, I will tell the doctor right away, "don't you have anything else for me to read? I already memorized the chart." My eyes were that bad. I am blind without my eye glasses.


Over the years, thanks to technologies, my best friends grew in numbers and kinds. I now have pair of contact lenses and pair of eye glasses. Sadly, I often use my pair of contact lenses. I feel more comfortable in them rather than wearing my pair of eye glasses. Add the thought of, I've been wearing my eye glasses almost half of my life and will wear them on the latter part of my life. (Unless I'll wear contact lenses til I'm 95 yrs old, haha!). At times, I felt guilty for my pair of eye glasses since I only wear them when I have no choice, when I don't have extra lenses, or when I don't have enough supply of solution to disinfect my lenses. I keep them for emergency purposes only, but most of the time, they are just there, sitting and waiting to be used.


Last week, something happened. I woke up and my eyes hurt so bad that I can't even open them. I went to look at the mirror. There I saw blood shot red eyes and found my pair of contact lenses all dried up. I panicked and grabbed my contact lenses solution right away. Drop solution simultaneously until I can feel that my contacts are soft enough for me to remove. After 15mins, I still can't remove it. I continue  dropping solution as I pray. After 30 mins, I was able to take it out. Unfortunately, my contacts for my right eye is already ripped off. A small piece was left in my eye. I had a hard time taking it out because it is too small. After a while, I was able to get it. THANK GOD! 


I panicked and told a few friends about it. I asked for prayers. I even sent them a picture (but I am not posting it here hahaha)


Since I am skeptical in going to the doctor, I waited for day 2 to have my eyes checked. ( I know, and I promise not to do it again) I was worried because it seems that I have a blood cloth on my eye and it becomes bigger as day goes by. I went to the doctor and there, viola! I have Subconjuctival hemorrhage. Some of my eye blood vessels broke already resulting for a blood cloth. It shouldn't be painful but since I slept with my lenses on, My eyes need to rest and breath.


For the whole day, I can't keep my right eye open. I felt like a vampire, every time a sunlight or any light for that matter reaches my right eye, it closes automatically and it hurts to the nth power. For the entire day, my original best friend never left me. My handy dandy pair of eye glasses were there for me in times of my darkness. THANK GOD AGAIN! 


P.S. The doctor said that if I woke up a little bit late, I might be blind by now. Thank you Lord for waking me up just in time. Thank you for giving me another chance to see the beauty of life, the blue skies, the colorful rainbow and the romantic sunset. Thank you for not allowing me to be blind.


P.P.S Thank you for my wonderful supportive friends, I know, I know, I will not sleep with my contacts on again.

Bad Boy Complex

Some people doesn't get it why I always fall for the bad guy. Okay, let me rephrase that. I "used" to fall for the bad guy. Well, I used to have this bad boy complex. It is even if I  know that they are bad, I still fall for them. Well, each woman has their own reasons. It may be the popularity or the trend but for me it's different. 


I always have this belief that all human being commit mistakes and everyone has the capability to change for the better. Some people might disagree with me, (at times even my family and friends) but I always tell them that. Give them a benefit of a doubt and a chance to change. Sometimes, I tell them that this person just need someone to understand him.


Classic examples, wouldn't you fall for someone who's known as the bad boy from the block but would everyday write letters and compose songs for you?


(I often say, for him to do that, he has a good heart)


Wouldn't you fall for someone who will wait for you 8hours in the rain just to say he's likes you?


It is my optimism that really makes me fall for them. Unfortunately, my beliefs are also the one who led me to a broken heart. I don't regret anything. These heartaches made me stronger and wiser. I want to believe that I graduated with that phase. I rehabilitated myself from my optimistic addiction and try to think carefully not for others first, but for myself.


Moving forward.... No more bad boys for me 

Home Of Abandoned Angels

Angels are also known as "messengers". They can be a messenger of hope, love, peace or prosperity. My favorite angel is my son. He constantly reminds me the value of love and happiness. He never fails to send me the message of hope and peace. This year I am immensely blessed with so many good gifts, from new friends to new experiences. From new trials to new dreams. I wanted to start the year right by celebrating my 28th bday and 4th month in LOJ. I decided to visit a home full of beautiful angels, the Mother and child home of Virlanie.

With my wonderful friends' help. We were able to share some wonderful gifts for our little angels. From clothes to toys, books to toiletries and other necessities.

We met few mothers who just gave birth, some are still on their way. But what captured my heart is a room full of infants.

As I open the door, I found this charming little girl smiling at us. Strapped in her bouncer, she keeps on wiggling her feet.

Beside her is a 2 months ala Coco Martin look alike baby who is sleeping so soundly. I fell in love with him right way. I want to snatched him out of his bouncer and take him home.

Of course, there's more..

There's the twin brothers who were born prematurely. They were so cute with their little nose and ears. Of course, I remember my little nephew Gabriel.

There's also this adorable little girl whom I also fell in love with. Took a couple of pictures with her. She can be addy's little sister.

And who will forget about the bibo girl who welcomed us with her wittiness. She was holding her comfort bib the whole time.


We shared a simple lunch. I was so happy to see that the kids love their new experience with us. It was a simple and yet very intimate affair. I am grateful to have my friends with me that day. Of course, I am also thankful to my friends who share some of their blessings in their own ways. I know God will return all these things to you a thousand folds.

I left that home with a heavy heart because if I can only bring all of them home with me, I would. I just thought, how can they do that. I can't abandoned addy. Not even a thought of it.

Those little angels that I met are trying to send us the message of love and life, of sharing and giving, of contentment, appreciation and gratefulness.

We should always be grateful for what we have and appreciate what we have.
We should appreciate all things that we have, it may be big or small. Count our blessings and not our trials.
Let us continue to be Jesus to someone. Our little efforts will surely brighten up someone else's face. You may be surprise how it feels good.

I will surely visit this loving home sometime soon. 

God bless Angels!

Our Everyday Miracle

It's almost the end of the month, I am very happy to say that Baby Gabriel's 3rd month is just around the corner. Another reason to be happy is, February is just around too. It means he will be home soon. *yehey*


I want to thank everyone who continue to offer prayers for our little miracle. I used to call him 'One pound miracle", he already surpassed that stage. Now, he is my everyday miracle. As Einstein says, "There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle. I prefer the latter." 


Yes, He is our everyday  miracle. We still have a long way to go but through our prayers, we believe and claim that our little miracle will be home soon. Everyday is not only a miracle for us, but a blessing, because we were given another day to spend it with him. Each day gets better. Each day there is a new reason to be thankful for. Let's continue to celebrate life and love.


Baby Gabriel, you are doing a great job little one! I am so proud of you. Hold on still. Keep it up. You will be home soon! i can't wait to see you home my dear. I love you! Hugs and kisses from Auntie Ley and Addy.


Please continue to pray for my little nephew. 

A year older, A year wiser

I officially marked my 28th year of existence. I am proud it. I am not afraid of counting years because for me each year is a new crossroad. I don't see any reason why I shouldn't be proud of it. I have a stable job, a family who loves me dearly, friends who will always be there for me and also, I have my little boy who still surprises me everyday with his wonderful personality. I gained a lot with the previous year. New friends, new experiences, new learning, new achievements, new trials and new blessings. Everyday, I found another reason to hope and dream. My faith was deeper and stronger. I found my self again. I regained my self worth. What else could I ask for?


I am starting the year blissfully happy and excited with what's in store for me for the year 2012. The experiences and trials that I surpassed last year made me stronger and wiser. I want to thank everyone who shared their time as I go through my journey.  Thank you for the heartfelt messages and wishes through text message, phone call, facebook, email and even via snail mail greeting cards.


This year, I will give myself the gift of love, and renewed  self esteem. This birthday I choose to blow the candle with a full heart and with the confidence in knowing that I am a good child of God, daughter, loving mother and modern woman. Not in comparison to others and not because that will make others happy or like me, but because I’m worth it.


Thank you Addy for being spending mommy's day with me again. You will always be my greatest gift babylove.


Thank you for my family who celebrated my birthday in three days. Thank you for my Canada family who traveled to more than a day to be with me. Thank you for my US family who called, ym'd, emailed, facebook me with heartfelt wishes. Thanks to my family who never fails to surprise me every year, the efforts are much appreciated.


Thank you for my friends who surprised me in their own little ways. I am truly grateful to have wonderful friends like you.


Most of all, Thank you Dear Lord for giving me more than enough this year. Thank you for granting my simple wishes.


Cheers to inner peace, happiness, good health, career and love!