Breastfeeding | #TheStruggleIsREAL

 Just to be clear, No! I am no expert when it comes to breastfeeding. Just like the rest, I had to read a lot of articles and forums while I was pregnant. I am just lucky to have friends who had successful breastfeeding journeys. They are my great support system. 

Back in 2009, Addy was considered premature in size because in Canada they follow of course the average size for Canadian babies. Addy had to mixed feed because he was jaundice and I gave birth winter time so no luck to sun bathe him. 

So with Arriana, I want to breastfeed her full time while I can. As early as 3 months, I was preparing for it. I want to ensure that my birth plan will be followed accordingly even post partum. I am glad that Makati Medical Center is a breastfeeding advocate hospital. They follow the DOH protocol so this means, NO BOTTLES, NO BREAST PUMPS allowed.

After giving birth, I am lucky according to our pedia because Arriana latches perfectly right away. A lactation consultant also went to visit us to teach me proper latching positions. I stayed overnight in the hospital and the next day, I am ready to go home but not Arriana. Arriana had to stay for a day or two depending on how she will respond with photosynthesis. 

Luckily, we just stay another day and on Arriana's 3rd day, we were able to go home. So my breastfeeding journey begins! I am so excited to go home because I will be able to spend time with Kuya Addy also. I am excited to pump, to build my stash and so on. I thought it is easy peasy as I see my friends doing it perfectly and yes, glamorously.

BUT I WAS WRONG!

It was challenging. It was painful! I was in constant tears at night due to pain. I can feel the pain traveling from my shoulders to my spine down to my waist and hips. Add that, I was exhausted from the constant feeding. My scoliosis is always acting up that leaves me with back pain. 

I was up all night feeding Arriana. I was hungry and thirsty all the time. It came to a point wherein I was saying it aloud, Inumin ko kaya itong alcohol? (What if I drink this alcohol?) 

Arriana will sleep for two hours but then I really can't sleep. I know, sabi nila pag tulog ang baby, sabayan mo.s(Sleep while the baby is sleeping) but that's also my time to pee, to take a bath, to attend to Addy, to eat, to wash Arriana's diaper cloth and so on.

Arriana keeps on crying even if I have enough supply of milk. Yes, so it makes me wonder what is wrong because definitely, it's not the supply. I only took supplements if I am on stress because it interferes with my milk supply but overall I have overflowing milk to a point that I'll wake up with ants crawling on me. (This part is not funny. Another reason for me not to sleep while she sleeps)

I checked on if she's latching properly. Yes, she does. I changed position countless of times. Check if she needs to be changed or probably she feels too hot or too cold. She may be colicky, gassy or she just wants to held. After all, she was inside my tummy for 9 months. Imagine how small her space was before compare to an entire bed or crib. In short, my Arriana was just adjusting.

Of course, there are times that she just wants to sleep. I had to follow the 2-3 hours feeding rules so I had to time her naps and wakes her up. There are times that she won't wake up that I had to undress her just to nurse her. There are times that I go to the washroom to pee once a day! yes, ONCE A DAY!

One time, while my partner was at work. I asked Kuya Addy to look after Arriana while she's sleeping. Yes, bath time for mommy. 

Five minutes later....
Kuya: Mommy, gising na si baby, umiiyak! (Mommy, baby is awake and crying!)
Me: Wait, I'm not yet done
Kuya: Mas importante pa ba pag ligo kesa kay baby? ( is taking a bath more important than baby?)

And a lot more stories which I can share on the coming days. But guess what? I am still exclusively breastfeeding Arriana. After a while it gets better. For me, I think after a month, I already get her rhythm when it comes to feeding. 

I am very proud and grateful to be able to breastfeed Arriana until now. I wish and pray that I can continue so until she wants to.

So if you are in the current situation, hang in there mommy! That shall pass also! 
For those who are not breastfeeding, I know you have your own reasons. Do not worry. It doesn't mean you're a bad mom. It does not make you any less of a mom. You are so blessed to be able to have a child as a blessing. As long as your baby is FED that is all that matters!

What is your breastfeeding experience or struggles?

Happy Breastfeeding month!